


Imperfections

by awgaskarth0805



Category: All Time Low (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Body Image, Emotional Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:26:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23100061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awgaskarth0805/pseuds/awgaskarth0805
Summary: Alex feels insecure about himself, and Jack talks through it with him.
Kudos: 6





	Imperfections

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story based on my personal life, and it deals with being insecure and body image issues, so please don't read if that is triggering for you.

“Man, what a crazy week, I’m so glad it’s finally the weekend,” Alex said as he led Jack through his front door and into the living room, where they set down their backpacks.  
“Yeah, I feel like I’ve gotten more assignments than normal, but at least it’s Friday! Do you have any good snacks here? If you have ice cream, we could have it in celebration that the week is over!” Jack suggested as they made their way into Alex’s kitchen.  
“Oh, um, I don’t really know what we have. You get what you want, I’m not really hungry,” Alex awkwardly replied, not looking at Jack.  
“Really? I’m surprised, you didn’t have lunch at school today,” Jack pointed out.  
“I’ll eat at dinnertime, I just don’t want anything right now,” Alex explained.  
“Well, as long as you’re sure,” Jack said in an uncertain voice.  
“I am. Anyway, grab whatever you want, then we can go downstairs and watch TV for a bit,” Alex instructed, still not looking at Jack. Once Jack had grabbed what he wanted, the two of them went down to Alex’s basement, and sat down on opposite sides of the sectional.   
Alex turned on the TV and began to channel surf until he found a movie that they both liked. It would only be on for forty-five more minutes now, but they decided to watch it anyway, because they could figure out something to do after while they watched it.   
Jack had grabbed some chips as a snack in a flavor that he knew Alex normally loved. Once they were about twenty minutes into the movie, Jack got Alex’s attention.  
“Hey, are you sure you don’t want any chips? I know this is your favorite kind,” Jack offered, holding the bag out for Alex, who awkwardly shifted away from it.  
“Um, no, I’m good, but thanks, Jack,” Alex replied with an unconvincing smile. Jack knew that interrogating Alex about whatever was going on wasn’t the right way to go about the situation, so he decided to just accept Alex’s answer for now and continue to monitor him some. The two of them turned back to the TV and continued to watch the movie, not interacting with each other at all, which was odd for them.   
When there were only about ten minutes left in the movie, Alex started to shift around some in his seat, catching Jack’s attention. Jack used everything that he had in him to not turn to face Alex and see what was going on, but he knew he’d have to be discrete if he wanted answers, so he started to glance at Alex out of the corner of his eye.   
He saw Alex quickly stretch out his shirt some, then pull it to where it would look baggier in the front. His eyes never left the TV screen as he did this, but Jack could see a look of anxiety and discomfort on Alex’s face. Jack was very aware that Alex had struggled with self confidence in the past, but it seemed worse now.   
For the rest of the movie, Jack zoned out, thinking about the other awkward encounters he’d been having with Alex over the past few weeks, especially those having to do with food. Normally, Jack and Alex were each other’s greatest support system; they always went to each other when something was wrong and would talk out whatever the problem was.   
Due to this, Jack wasn’t sure why Alex was keeping something from him, if there really was something going on. When the movie ended, Jack decided to ask Alex a couple more test questions, letting his answers determine what Jack would do next.  
“I love that movie, it’s so funny,” Jack stated as the credits started to roll on the screen.  
“For sure, I wish we’d caught it when it first came on, but I’m glad that we could watch some of it,” Alex replied. Jack saw Alex curl into himself some, that same anxious look from earlier appearing on his face again.   
Jack decided that having a talk with Alex needed to happen, but still wanted to ask a question to either confirm or deny his suspicions.   
“Me too, the whole thing is really good. Hey, this is off topic, but what’s for dinner?” I was thinking that we could go out somewhere and get some fast food to reward ourselves for a long week. What sounds good, burgers, fried chicken, takeout from that really good Chinese restaurant?” Jack suggested.  
“Well, I’m not really in the mood for any of that, it all sounds really filling, and I don’t want to feel uncomfortably full. We can go out so you can eat something like that, but I might just make something small here, I’m not too hungry,” Alex replied, not looking at Jack.  
“You haven’t eaten anything at all today, and it’s already close to five, how are you not hungry?” Jack continued, starting to feel even more concerned.  
“I’m just not, it’s no big deal, I’ll just heat up some vegetables or something,” Alex decided, messing with his shirt again, still trying to make it baggier.  
“Alex, are you oaky? Like, is there something you need to talk about?” Jack asked in a worried voice.  
“What? Why would you think that? I’m perfectly fine,” Alex tried, curling in on himself even more now, as his leg started to thump nervously.  
“No, don’t give me that, I’m not stupid. For the past, like, three weeks, you haven’t been acting like yourself. You’ve been really awkward about food, whenever you see it, or if something is mentioned about it. I didn’t put all of this together until now, but you never turn down chips or fast food! Seriously, what’s going on, man?” Jack tried, looking at his friend.  
“It’s kind of stupid and embarrassing, and I’ve never talked about it. Well, aside from journaling about it,” Alex said, trailing off at the end.  
“It won’t be stupid, man. You’ve not been yourself, and I just want to help you, I’m starting to get concerned about you,” Jack admitted, worry evident in his voice.  
“Well, you know how I’ve always had issues with feeling confident and comfortable with myself, right?” Alex asked, still looking down at his lap.  
“Yeah, you told me a lot about that back in our freshman year,” Jack replied.  
“Right. This is old news, but I’ve always felt a bit uncomfortable in my own skin. I was always the heaviest out of my friends, back in grade school, and for most of middle school. In the summer between seventh and eighth grade, so right before we met and became friends, I weighted the most I’d ever weighted at that point in my life and I hated it, so I decided to try and lose weight. It actually worked pretty well, I’ve shown you photos of me before I lost weight, right?” Alex asked.   
“Yeah, you have, you’ve always seemed pretty embarrassed when you have,” Jack replied.  
“I was, and still am, to be totally honest. So, the first two years of high school were fine for the most part. I’ve made more friends as time has gone on, which means I’ve gone out to eat a lot of unhealthy meals, that’s made me gain some of the weight back. Whenever I’d step on the scale and the number would be slightly higher, it would make me cry and ruin my day,” Alex admitted, playing with the hem of his shirt.  
“Well, I never noticed, your body really didn’t show it that much. Why are you so upset about things now?” Jack asked, scooting closer to Alex and putting an arm around his shoulders to show support.  
“Remember that medication I was on for a few months? Well, one of its many side effects was weight gain, and I really didn’t think I’d get too much of that effect, but I was very wrong. Part of the problem was that the medication also made me a bit depressed, so I ate junk food to cope. That, along with the actual medicine, made me gain so much of the weight back. I weigh more now than I did before I lost the weight a couple years ago, and I hate it. I really want to lose it all again, bit it almost feels like I don’t know how to. When I lost weight back then, I only ate if I actually felt hungry, I worked out quite a bit, I never ate fast food, and when I did eat, it was almost always just fruits and vegetables, I hardly ever ate processed food,” Alex explained, tears starting to form in his eyes.  
“Hey, it’s okay. Why does it feel like you can’t remember how to lose weight?” Jack continued.  
“Well, my mentality has been to get as much weight off as fast as possible, which I know is bad in itself. I’ve not been having dinner a lot, because it feels like mom has just been making unhealthy things, which I don’t want while trying to lose weight. Sometimes, I’ll skip dinner, then I’ll get hungry at, like, ten at night, so I’ll get chips or something else that’s unhealthy, and I’ll just binge it for a bit, until I feel bad about it and stop. I’ve been working out some, but I’ve been getting anxiety going to the gym since I feel gross, so I’ve not been staying for long enough periods of time to get a lot done. Like, this whole weight loss thing just feels overwhelming and daunting, and I feel like I’ll never be able to lose what I want to in a healthy way, and all of this just makes my mind spiral into a dark place, kind of like what it’s doing now,” Alex said, fully crying now.   
Jack pulled Alex into a hug, and Alex put his head onto Jack’s shoulder as he continued to cry. Jack was speechless, he had no idea that Alex had been feeling so badly about himself, and he really wasn’t sure if he’d even be able to say something that was remotely helpful.   
He didn’t really know anyone else with these issues, and this left him feeling a bit useless. Eventually, Alex sat up and look at Jack, tears still racing down his face.  
“Jack, do I look bad?” Alex asked in a broken voice that made Jack’s heart shatter in his chest.  
“No Alex, not at all, I promise,” Jack assured, still hugging his friend.  
“I just feel so insecure, I’ve been trying to wear bigger clothes, like, clothes that are my actual size give me anxiety because I don’t want them to show anything. Also, I don’t remember where I first saw this, but I’ve been wearing my pants really high up, so that they can cover up my stomach area,” Alex admitted, wiping some tears from his eyes.  
“Alex, I really had no idea about any of this, I’m so sorry you’ve been feeling this way. As your best friend, it makes me sad to hear you talk about yourself like this, but I’m going to do whatever I can to help you through this,” Jack promised.  
“I appreciate you saying that, but I feel like I’m stuck in this shitty mentality, and in these sad feelings. I can’t even look into a mirror without feeling upset about how I look. I always point out every imperfection, especially my weight, and it makes my mind spiral, ruining my day. I’m sorry to put all of this on you, dude. I know it’s probably all just so stupid,” Alex said, sounding frustrated with himself.  
“It’s not stupid, this is a big deal, and I’m glad you told me about it. Alex, look, if you really want to lose some weight to build some self-confidence, that’s cool, but it’s all about how you go about it. You don’t have a healthy mindset about this at all, which will only continue to get worse as time goes on. I’ll tell you what, why don’t we go to the gym together a couple of days a week after school? I want to build up some muscle, and I can help you from feeling anxious, or from getting into a bad headspace. And, we can even find some good, healthy recipes so you can start eating enough again to be healthy. I don’t think you should go on this journey alone, so I’ll gladly go on it with you, if you let me,” Jack offered.  
“You’d really do all of that for me?” Alex asked, disbelief in his voice.  
“Of course, man, why wouldn’t I?” Jack asked in reply.  
“It just seems inconvenient for you to have to do all of that for me,” Alex replied.  
“You’re my best friend, Alex. If these thoughts you’re having led to something bad happening, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. We can conquer this problem together. I’m here for you,” Jack replied in a sincere voice.  
“You the best. Thank you, Jack, this all means a lot,” Alex said with a small smile.  
“Absolutely, man. Now, let’s go online and find something good to cook for dinner later!” Jack exclaimed. The two of them shared a smile, and Alex felt lucky to have such a supportive best friend who was always willing to help him with whatever was going on in his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is something I've been wanting to write for about a month now. Alex in this is completely based off of myself, and after a particularly bad day with all of this, I decided to write this fic. I was very hesitant about posting it since it is such a touchy subject, but my hope is that it can help someone going through something similar. Every other personal fic I've posted on here has been about things that were an issue in my past, and this is the first time I've written something like this about something I'm dealing with now. This one is pretty hard to share, but I think that sharing it has to be the first step in me dealing with what was mentioned in this fic. I'm currently working on some requests, but always feel free to send more in if you have them! I hope that this story can somehow be helpful to someone. Lots of love, Liv.


End file.
